Subscribe

We don't want your money. Not yet, anyway.

Faketown News is building a $5/month subscription: a full weekly newspaper, delivered as an honest-to-goodness PDF, carrying material you won't find anywhere else on this site. Here's what's planned.

The weekly print edition

A real, twelve-page newspaper, laid out the way a newspaper should be — not a newsletter. Front page, City Hall and politics, the police blotter, fire and EMS, sports, community and school news, opinion and letters, classifieds and personal ads, business and public notices, weather and horoscopes, the grocery circular, and more. Delivered to your inbox as a real attachment, with a secure link as a backup.

Full subscriber-exclusive stories

The free site runs a preview of our biggest stories. Subscribers get the whole thing.

The right to submit a News Tip

Think you've seen something happening in Faketown? Subscribers will be able to send it in. Publication is never guaranteed, but we'll read it.

Letters to the Editor

Disagree with our coverage of a town that doesn't exist? Subscribers will be able to write in, and we might even print a response.

The full edition archive

Every back issue, available to read whenever you want.

So, about that $5

To be completely clear: Faketown News does not want your money right now. We have nowhere to put it and nothing to send you. There is no checkout button on this page on purpose. One day — soon, probably — that will change, and we will absolutely start accepting it. Until then, enjoy the free stuff.