Golden Retriever Joins Varsity Wrestling Team After What Officials Call a Fully Compliant Tryout

The Faketown Unified School District Athletic Board voted 5-0 Tuesday night to approve Biscuit, a three-year-old golden retriever, for a varsity roster spot on the Faketown High School wrestling team, calling the decision "straightforward" and "well within district guidelines."

Biscuit, who weighed in at 126 pounds and is owned by assistant coach Mark Delgado, reportedly impressed the selection committee during a two-hour tryout that officials described as "rigorous" and "conducted exactly like any other athlete's."

"He showed real discipline," said Athletic Director Carol Weiss, reading from prepared remarks. "He held a stance. He made eye contact with his opponent. He did not break focus, except once, briefly, for a squirrel."

Weiss confirmed Biscuit meets all eligibility requirements under current district policy, which she noted "does not specify species" and has "never needed to before now."

Biscuit finished his tryout matches 4-0, with three wins by pin and one by what the referee's report listed only as "overwhelming enthusiasm." He has not missed a single practice.

The decision has not been universally welcomed. The Faketown Feline Alliance, a local advocacy group, filed a formal complaint Wednesday alleging the tryout process was biased against cats from the start. The group points to a tryout attempt by a cat named Mr. Whiskers, who, according to the official incident report, "declined to participate in good faith" and "left the mat without explanation during the first period."

"That's not a disqualification, that's a cat being a cat," said Feline Alliance spokesperson Denise Ruiz. "We are prepared to pursue this at the district level and, if necessary, beyond it."

Superintendent Gary Holt said the district takes the complaint "very seriously" and has formed a five-member committee to study the matter, with a preliminary report expected sometime next spring.

In the meantime, Biscuit will wrestle in Faketown High's season opener Friday night. Coach Delgado said the game plan is simple.

"We just let him do what he does," Delgado said. "He's a natural. He's always been a natural."

The school board's next meeting will take up a separate request, from a parent, to allow a raccoon onto the debate team.